Info

How to Survive

'How to Survive' is a film review podcast with a twist. The discussion centres around one key question: 'How would you survive in this movie?' Each episode centres around one classic movie. Often, they are horror movies, but there are also lots of thrillers, action movies, adventure movies and the occasional romantic drama for good measure. If you've ever rolled your eyes when the victim goes outside alone; tutted when the killer returns from the dead; or shouted 'DON'T GO IN THERE!', this is the podcast for you. If you have ideas on How to Survive, or recommendations for films we should consider, send them over to: HowToSurviveShow@Gmail.com
RSS Feed
How to Survive
2019
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2018
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2017
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2016
December
November
October
September
August
July
June
May
April
March
February
January


2015
December
November
October
September
August


Categories

All Episodes
Archives
Categories
Now displaying: Page 1
Nov 6, 2019

How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod 

It's episode 213...and two days ago, I had this nice simple life. And now it’s a nightmare.

Terminator: Dark Fate (2019) is the latest entry in the increasingly unloved and unwanted Terminator franchise, but with Tim Miller of Deadpool fame at the helm and with ol' Jimmy Cameron lurking in the background, can Arnie and Linda Hamilton wrestle the series back into shape? 

This latest entry follows Dani, who's quiet life is torn apart by the sudden arrival of Grace, an enhanced super-soldier from an unknown apocalyptic future, who seeks to save her from the relentless and cunning REV-9.

We pick apart this surprisingly high-quality entry into the Terminator canon, pull back the curtain on Carl - the best creative decision since casting Arnie in the first film, ask if Hamilton is hammy or HAM, and wonder aloud what happens to all the other purposeless inter-dimensional time orphan robot assassins?

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: I can see you’re very upset.

Next week it's back to the year 1606 (or 2015) with Justin Kurzel's incredible Macbeth.

Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

Oct 30, 2019

Hello.

Because of various administrative issues, neither me or Joe were free to record our scheduled episode of the podcast this week - the long-awaited and keenly anticipated Terminator: Dark Fate episode will be next week instead.

But in the meantime, I hope you enjoy this selection of messages from our Mailbag podcasts which, until this compilation, has been a Patron-exclusive.

If you like what you hear, why not head over to Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod to check out our weekly Mailbag episodes, and our bonus episodes covering films chosen by our patrons.

Oct 23, 2019

How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod 

It's episode 212...and all I have Joe has are negative thoughts.

Joker (2019) reimagines the iconic DC supervillain as the pitiful Arthur Fleck, clown-for-hire and aspiring stand-up comedian. Life is hard for the downtrodden Arthur as he struggles to make his mark against the backdrop of a Gotham City on the brink of chaos. Could a kindly neighbour, a shot at stardom and the identity of his absent father all prove a ray of hope for Arthur? Or, instead, will they precipitate his spiral into violent mania as the world begins to burn.

We talk about Joaquin and wackos, denial and De Niro, zany scores and Scorsese, and ask if Joker is a dangerous film, if it's the best film of 2019 and if will it lead to the violent uprising some fear.

Plus can you or can you not joke about anything these days?

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: I had a bad day.

Next week it's what will surely prove to be the film of 2019: Terminator: Dark Fate.

Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

Oct 16, 2019

How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod 

 

It's episode 211...and he's a monster. Pure psychopath. So rare to capture one alive. From a research point of view, Lecter is our most prized asset.

The Silence of the Lambs (1991) follows Clarice Starling on her quest to thwart flaying serial killer Buffalo Bill. To gain insight on psychopathic murderers, Starling is sent to interview Hannibal 'the Cannibal' Lecter, a convicted cannibalistic serial killer. But will her tricky assignment land her in more danger than she realises?

We discuss if the five Academy Award winning crime thriller classic is, in fact, slightly overrated, whether Hopkins' Hannibal is more pantomime than pant-filling, and offer advice to paramedics, deranged killers and Miggs.

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: You forgot the power glove

Next week: will Todd Phillip's super-villain origin story put a smile on our face? It's Joker (2019)

Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

Oct 9, 2019

How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod 

It's episode 210... and these are ancient dream demons. Supposedly they roam the dreams of the living till they find the most evil, twisted human imaginable. Then they give him the power to cross the line and turn our nightmares into reality.

Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991) tells the story of John Doe (no really), a young man who is used as bait to lure Freddy Krueger's child back to Springwood, so that Freddy can leave Springwood. Make sense? Well don't worry, I've seen the movie and I'm still scratching my head.

We'll hear from one of the world's greatest living fighters (currently recovering from a career threatening injury) who has some top fighting tips for Freddy; we also consider safe storage of guns, throwing stars and dynamite in a children's refuge; and we advise brutal simplicity of thought in hatching any nefarious plan.

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: You forgot the power glove

Next week: it downloads the podcast, or else it gets the hose again. It's The Silence of the Lambs (1991).

Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

Oct 2, 2019

How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod 

It's episode 209... and I was just entering, and I was nervous and excited, and I saw you. My hero...

The Perfection (2019) tells the story of Charlotte, who has returned to the world of top-tier cello playing after a ten year absence. Charlotte had been caring for her mother who has now died, and appears to seek revenge on Lizzie, the cellist who replaced her as the favourite student of the cello academy owners.

We advise everyone to always take the opportunity to take a trip around rural china; to start off small rather than going straight for dismemberment; and organising talent competitions so that you can hear all competitors.

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: If I move, I'll shit.

Next week, we're not back on Elm Street, but the nightmare continues anyway: Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare (1991).

Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

Sep 24, 2019

How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod 

It's episode 208... this meeting of the Losers Club has officially begun.

It: Chapter 2 (2019) tells the story of the kids from the first movie. 27 years have passed and they've grown up, and they've forgotten about the events of the first film! But when they return to Derry, they're soon reminded and take on Pennywise again with renewed vigour.

We advise on the dangers of playing with your food; the merits of moving away from your home town; and not standing around admiring the pass.

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: You should cut that fucking mullet. It's been, like, thirty years, man.

Next week, it's time for some 'Netflix and cello' with The Perfection (2019)

Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

Sep 18, 2019

How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod 

It's episode 208...it's started. You better brace yourself.

The Wailing (2016) tells the story of Jong-goo, a police chief investigating a series of grisly murders in rural Korea. The murders are apparently linked to a mysterious disease afflicting the local population, and some believe the cause to be a strange Japanese man who has moved to the area. It's one of the most captivating films we've covered in some time.

We talk sins, shame, shamans and charlatans, wonder how to spot the Devil and whether you should take him on one-on-one, discuss bodily fluids and genre fluidity, and ask the burning question at the heart of The Wailing - what exactly is going on?

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: Not everything that moves, breathes, and talks is alive.

Next week, it's time we head back to Derry in the year's biggest horror film: It: Chapter 2 (2019)

Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

Sep 11, 2019

How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod 

It's episode 207...I'm gonna start beating the shit out of you in the next five seconds, and you're gonna swallow a lot of blood for a fucking billfold!

The Grey (2011) sees Liam Neeson walking the tundra, cosh in hand, looking for the first wolf bastard he can get his hands on. You see, his friend was the victim of a plane crash, and she dealt with it in the most extraordinary way, but his immediate reaction was...did she know who it was? No. What colour were they? She said it was a wolf. 

It's a packed show as we ask if the film is the victim of the most misguided marketing campaign ever, the importance of looking before leaping, give advice on the best time for a big scrap with a wolfpack, hear from a pilot as to the realism of the film's plane crash and a listener sends in some much-needed weeing advice.

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: I gotta a book! It's called "We're all fucked"! It's a best seller.

Next week, it's another listener suggestion with The Wailing (2016), available on Netflix in the UK.

Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

Sep 4, 2019

How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod 

It's episode 205...and I couldn't do anything. I tried to go back. She was already gone. She was already gone.

28 Weeks Later (2007) (or 196 Days Later (732555) if you're a traditionalist) is the follow-up to Danny Boyle's seminal London-set apocalyptic horror. But with Danny absent can the sequel live up to the first film's weighty reputation?

We discuss a post-pandemic city that's gone to the (Isle of) Dogs, debate Don's desperate decision-making, deride terrible guard detailing and comb through perhaps the worst possible route from Regent's Park to Wembley Stadium in any situation.

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: This is the worst combat I've ever seen. Where's the combat?

Next week, Liam's out to find the first wolf bastard he can get his hands on in Joe Carnahan's The Grey (2011)

Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

Aug 28, 2019

How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod 

It's episode 204...and it has been established that persons who have recently died have been returning to life and committing acts of murder. 

Night of the Living Dead (1968) is one of the all-time classics of horror cinema, and sets out much of what we now know and love about the zombie genre - an apocalypse without apparent cause, a not-so-safe place to hole up, ordinary folk in extraordinary circumstances and the nightmareish horde of the undead.

We take a big old bite out of a Romero classic, talk hysterical women, racist men, the importance of making your presence known and why, in the 1960s Southern United States that might not be such a good idea after all...

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: They're dead. They're all messed up.

Next week, we're back in London for a bite to eat: 28 Weeks Later (2007)

Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

Aug 21, 2019

How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod 

It's episode 203...and please stop calling me 'Father'

Signs (2002) tells the story of Graham Hess, a former pastor who lost his faith when his wife was killed in a tragic accident. Now Graham looks after his children and runs a small farm with his brother. All is fine, until crop circles appear - followed by several other symptoms of an alien invasion. 

We talk about swinging away without needing to be prompted; the benefits of hazmat suits when exploring an alien territory; and the merits of staying in the ship when there's no clear reason to get out of it.

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: They have women's high-jumping in the Olympics. They've got these Scandinavian women who could jump clean over me.

Next week, we're stumbling around looking for brains: zombie season kicks off with Night of the Living Dead (1968).

Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

Aug 13, 2019

How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod 

It's episode 202...and look at my face; I was not thinking anything bad about you. 

The Sixth Sense (1999) tells the story of this person named Malcolm. He worked with children. He loved it. He loved it more than anything else. And then one night, he found out that he made a mistake with one of them. He couldn't help that one. And he can't stop thinking about it, he can't forget. Ever since then, things have been different. He's not the same person that he used to be. And his wife doesn't like the person that he's become. They barely speak anymore, they're like strangers. And then one day Malcolm meets this wonderful little boy, a really cool little boy. Reminds him a lot of the other one. And Malcolm decides to try and help this new boy. 'Cause he feels that if he can help this new boy, it would be like helping that other one too.

We talk about the most famous twist in cinema history; hand out some top helmet safety tips; and weigh in with some advice for a team of medical practitioners. 

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: De profundis clamo ad te, domine. Out of the depths, I cry to you, O lord.

Next week, 'Good M. Night' season continues apace with Signs (2002).

Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

Aug 7, 2019

How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod 

It's episode 201...and don’t forget about all of the beautiful Swedish women you’ll meet in June.

Midsommar (2019) tells the story of Dani, who suffers a family tragedy and throws herself into a trip to a Swedish midsummer festival in an attempt to work through her grief. She's joining her boyfriend Christian and his friends, but is this quaint paradise all it seems, and what do the mysterious Harga cult have in store for the group?

Things get heated as we chew through Ari Aster's Hereditary follow-up, let the bear of cultural relativism out of its cage and debate the merits of cliff/hammer-related rituals. Is Midsommar just The Wicker Man for woke millennials, or is there more to its pulsating, undulating, hallucinatory visuals than meets the pulsating, undulating, hallucinating eye.

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: this opens you up to the influence, and it breaks down your defenses. Trust me. Alright? You will love it.

Next week, we begin 'Good Shyamalan' season with his classic The Sixth Sense (1999) 

Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

Jul 31, 2019

How to Survive is now on Patreon! If you like the show and want to support us, head over to Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod, where you'll find bonus episodes and the opportunity to join our community and help fund more podcasts and videos.

If you can't or don't want to support us - that's fine! Thank you for subscribing, you'll still get your weekly episodes here as per usual.

As ever, thank you for all your support - we'll stop doing it when you stop laughing.

Jul 31, 2019

How to Survive is on Patreon! Support us at Patreon.com/HowtoSurvivePod 

It's episode 200...and don't ask me to take a Jacuzzi with that guy again.

A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Child (1989) sees Alice and Dan (how could you forget them?) getting their lives back on track and graduating high school. All seems well until Alice begins being plagued with strange dreams and, before you know it, her friends are dropping dead in their sleep - often with bloody results.

We talk about one of the more interesting NOES sequels so far, revel in a real cinematic A-ha moment, question whether there's a better way to run an asylum and look back on the past 199 episodes with Chris' Anniversary Quiz.

Oh, and there's one or two life-changing announcements along the way too.

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: if anybody's trying to hurt you, supernatural or not, they're going to have to go through us first.

Next week, it's the feel-good film of the summer - Ari Aster's Midsommar (2019).

Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

Jul 24, 2019

Do you want the good news or the bad news?

The bad news is this week is a re-broadcast.

The good news is it's Cannibal Holocaust. I suppose that's actually bad news too on balance, but that's life. Can't win them all.

Cannibal Holocaust (1980) tells the story of Harold Monroe, a sociologist sent into the Amazonian rainforest to find out what happened to a missing documentary crew. Cannibal Holocaust is honestly a terrible film. Don't bother watching it. I'm not even sure why we watched it. I think someone asked us to cover it once in an email or a tweet but I can't remember. In many ways I can't remember anything before I watched Cannibal Holocaust, but I can remember feeling happiness and joy and a lust for life in general that is now sadly absent from my hollow shell of an existence.

Cannibal Holocaust has, in a very real sense, sapped the lifeforce from me in a manner that I'm not sure will ever be reversed. Maybe I wouldn't even want it to be reversed. Maybe this feeling of cosmic emptiness is a kind of punishment for watching it. If it is then I welcome it. I am forever scarred. I am forever a lesser person for having seen Cannibal Holocaust.

Don't watch it - it's not worth it. Just listen to the podcast instead.

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: Things like this happen all the time in the jungle; it's survival of the fittest!

Jul 17, 2019

It's episode 199...and they cut off his bowling fingers...

Tucker and Dale vs. Evil (2010) tells the story of Tucker and Dale, two country-folk and close friends who head into the woods to fix up Tucker's new country retreat. Unfortunately, they are mistaken for psychopathic murderers by a group of college students who are camping near-by, and hilarity ensues.

We talk about the basics of putting up a load-bearing pillar; the benefits of avoiding being 'generally clumsy'; and the absolute essential nature of entering bodies of water at the waterline. 

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: when you see a college girl prancing around half naked, you do not call out my name!

Next week, Freddy's back in Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child (1989).

Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

Jul 9, 2019

It's episode 198...and there's a girl in the garden.

Shaun of the Dead (2004) tells the story of down-on-his-luck Shaun. Dumped by his girlfriend Liz, stuck in a dead-end job and nursing a testy relationship with his step-father - he's desperate to turn his life around. Can he Go Round Mum's, Get Liz Back, and Sort (his) Life Out? Oh, and, there's a zombie apocalypse happening all around him.

We talk about the place that does all the fish, mull over the lack of options for smokers in public places in the modern world, chew over the best practice for bite wounds and share stories of misbehaving children being chased around gardens by adults wielding bits of wood.

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: the front door is open...AGAIN.

Next week, Comedy Horror season continues with Tucker & Dale vs. Evil (2010)

Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

Jul 3, 2019

It's episode 195...and I'll never leave you alone again.

Dark Water (2002) tells the story of Yoshimi, a lady going through a messy divorce and custody battle for her daughter Ikuko. Their new apartment is far from ideal: there's a leaking ceiling, a surly building attendant, and there may or may not be the vengeful spirit of a dead child to deal with.

J-Horror Season continues and concludes with this unsung star of the horror genre. We talk about the benefits of living like a prepper; we compare other 'sad horror' movies; and discuss why wraith-like girls drenched in water keep cropping up in movies.

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: There's a wet spot on my ceiling, and water dripping down from it.

Next week, it's Comedy Horror season with Shaun of the Dead (2004)

Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

Jun 26, 2019

It's episode 195...and thank you for the effort.

Ju-on: The Grudge (2002) tells the story of a brutal murder, a deadly curse and a house so haunted it stays with you wherever you go. We follow many different visitors to the deadly Saeki house - can any of them solve the mystery and - more importantly - will any of them survive?

We kick off J-Horror season with somewhat of an ugly duckling, but an influential and creative ugly duckling nonetheless. We discuss Onryō, ask whether J-Horror is often scarier than Western horror, and delve into Japanese folklore for the one foolproof way of dealing with vengeful ghosts (don't forget your swords and your prayer books).

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: Those who encounter it die, and a new curse is born.

Next week, J-Horror season continues with Hideo Nakata's Dark Water (2002)

Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

Jun 19, 2019

It's episode 194... Jesus, Paul you did a number on my back...

Cabin Fever (2002) tells the story of a group of horror movie teenagers who go to a cabin in the woods to 'party'. Unfortunately, there's an outbreak of a deadly skin eating virus, and the group are soon fighting to survive against the disease, some hillbillies, and each other.

We talk about the importance of a robust personal sexual health system; we give advice to the world's least-travelled hermit; and we discuss the fundamentals of ad-hoc quarantine procedure.

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

And the answer? That guy asked for our help and we lit him on fire!

Next week, we're saying konichiwa to Ju-On: The Grude (2002).

Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

Jun 12, 2019

It's episode 1... and things are finally as they should be!

Chris has been sacked and now Joe hosts the podcast all by himself, and everyone agrees it is much better now. It's goodbye to bad rubbish, as Joe gets to run the show how he wants.

The reviews are more insightful; the jokes are much funnier; and The One True King finally gets to speak his mind.

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: No animals were harmed in the making of this podcast!

There's even a secret easter egg for fans of Jurassic Park (1993).

We may or may not return to our regular schedule next week with Cabin Fever (2002).

 

Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

Jun 5, 2019

It's episode 193...and that's not a knife... this is a knife!

Wolf Creek (2005) tells the story of Ben, Kristy and Liz; three friends who are travelling around the Australian outback visiting tourist sites. When their car breaks down, they are assisted by Mick, a local hermit who may or may not turn out to be a lunatic who tortures and kills people. You'll just have to watch it to find out.

We talk about the importance of striking out clear boundaries in a negotiation; the cost/benefit of closing the distance when using a ranged weapon; and the importance of bludgeoning a wounded enemy.

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

And the answer? Well, I can tell you, but then... I'll have to kill you...

Next week, we're keeping it early 00's grungey horror with Eli Roth's Cabin Fever (2002).

Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

May 29, 2019

It's episode 192...and my friend, you suffer from the misplaced optimism of the doomed

Snowpiercer (2013) tells the story of Curtis and the passengers above the Snowpiercer, a super-train filled with the sole survivors of an accidental man-made ice age. Forced to live as an underclass, Curtis and his peers stage a violent rebellion and begin to fight their way up the train to take control.

We talk about which train guards should carry the guns; the importance of telling your daughter the truth to prevent her becoming a drug addict; and the inherent nuisance of walking through a nightclub whenever you need to be fitted for a new suit.

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: You've seen what people do without leadership. They devour one another.

Next week, we're down under for Wolf Creek (2005).

Get in touch! HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 Next » 10