This week we're talking about a 2015 Horror/Comedy based (very loosely) on the Scandinavian legend of Krampus!
Krampus (2015) tells the story of a family who have lost their Christmas spirit. Despite the best efforts of the the youngest child, Max, to generate some festive cheer, the group are punished for forgetting the true meaning of Christmas by a shadowy demon called 'Krampus'
We talk about the difficulties of bridging horror and comedy; the benefits of remembering one simple and easily achievable survival method; and we dig into some top tips from the SAS.
All of which leads to one big question:
How would you survive?
Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... Weihnachten ist die beste Zeit des Jahres.
Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.
This week we're talking about the movie that made Macaulay Culkin the man he is today... it's Home Alone!
Home Alone (1990) tells the story of Kevin McCallister, an eight year old boy left alone (at home...) for the Christmas holiday. Which would probably have been fine, were it not for the marauding burglars attempting to break into his house.
We talk about why Kevin McCallister is an ideal Treadstone subject; the general incompetence of everyone over the age of 8; and of course, the dangers of standing under a blow torch for 7 unbroken seconds.
All of which leads to one big question:
How would you survive?
Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... we're gonna give you to the count of ten to download this podcast. One... Two... Ten!
Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.
This movie is also known as 'Blackfoot Trail' in some territories.
If you haven't seen it, head to howtosurviveshow.com to find a link to your own copy.
The movie is from the fringes of the horror genre, but is more than welcome in a discussion about movie survival.
Backcountry (2014) tells the story of two hikers, Jenn and Alex, who become badly lost in the Canadian Wilderness. They manage to keep their wits about them for a short time, before they have a run in with a wild black bear!
We talk about a rod-for-your-own-back approach to food preparation; the pressures of a modern man to live up to unattainable levels of masculinity; and how best to take on a black bear, based on the advice of a 'How-To' blog with questionable expertise.
All of which leads to one big question:
How would you survive?
Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... we don't know how much this will cost you, we just know how much you pay!
Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.
This week we're talking about the head, the tail, the whole damn thing... it's Jaws!
Steven Spielberg's Jaws (1975) was the first summer blockbuster - and what a blockbuster it was! Jaws tells the story of Police Chief Martin Brody, and his attempts to keep the island town of Amity safe from a marauding great-white with a taste for tourists.
We talk about the questionable business acumen displayed by a small-town mayor; the appropriateness of a seaside town hiring a Police Chief with a fear of water; and the pros and cons of giving a whole town a deadly neurological disease.
All of which leads to one big question:
How would you survive?
Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... we're gonna need a bigger boat!
Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.
It's the catchiest thing to come from monkeys since 'I'm a believer': It's 28 Days Later.
Danny Boyle's 2002 classic is as influential as any 'zombie' film before or since. A massively impactful, bleak and visually astounding movie which takes you on an emotional rollercoaster from start to finish.
We talk about the survival limitations of a high population density; the difficult of catching an outbound flight from a train station; and how a taxi driver came to own police riot gear (or a riot officer came to own a taxi).
All of which leads to one big question:
How would you survive?
Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... that's not a lion, it's a giraffe!
P.s. We know it's spelled 'Monkees'. The joke wouldn't work with the correct spelling.
Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.
It's Episode 15 of How to Survive, and we're off to the shops!
This week's focus is on Dawn of the Dead (1978), George A. Romero's classic zombie movie where the action goes down in an American shopping mall. The movie is perhaps more satirical than terrifying - especially by modern standards, but it still holds up as a classic movie, and a massively influential horror.
We talk about the benefits of focusing all of your waking thoughts on one thing at all times; the importance of never expressing any emotion; and the misplaced priorities of a biker gang armed with cream pies.
All of which leads to one big question:
How would you survive?
Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... we're thieves and we're bad guys... that's exactly what we are!
Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.
Episode 14 of How to Survive is out of this world! We're talking about survival tactics for Matt Damon in The Martian (2015).
The Martian tells the story of Mark Watney, a Mars astronaut who is left behind on the planet after an accident. He must spend the next few years surviving against the brutal Martian elements while his pals at NASA think of a way to get him home.
We talk about how believable each character's portrayal is, how to exploit real-world scientific phenomena to survive in the movie's fictional events, and the monumental collective cost of saving Matt Damon in all of his movies.
All of which leads to one big question:
How would you survive?
Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... Chris and Joe are steely-eyed missile men.
Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.
It's episode 13 of How to Survive, and we're giving survival advice to the most enduring British film character ever: James Bond.
In Spectre, Bond takes on someone from his past - the notorious Franz Oberhauser! In a movie which at times feels like a remake of the entire Bond saga at the same time, and never seems to be 5 minutes away from gut-churning action, the risks are high, and survival is surely difficult, but that's where we come in...
We talk about how a lack of socks can make someone seem entirely like an unhinged psychopath; how Daniel Craig may be the most British man who ever lived; and most importantly: which of us is better at predicting what will happen in a Bond film?
All of which leads to one big question:
How would you survive?
Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... we could never forget a face like yours.
Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.
Episode 12 of How to Survive sees us talking about John Carpenter's Halloween (1978). This is our annual Halloween Special!
The movie is absolutely iconic for its key elements - many of which have now become horror movie tropes. Certainly a product of its time, but a fantastic film to discuss - especially when considering how to survive about the original horror movie slasher: Michael Myers.
We talk about all the nonsensical actions of a criminal psychologist; what would constitute an 'appropriate' reaction to seeing a masked ghoul in your neighbour's garden; and the most important question of all: Who is teaching catatonic psychopaths how to drive?
All of which leads to one big question:
How would you survive?
Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... butter ruins clothes!
Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.
In the eleventh episode of How to Survive, Chris and Joe return to the Friday the 13th saga, with Friday the 13th Part II.
The film is a facsimile of the first film in terms of: characters, themes, writing, expectations. However, it is nonetheless a great film to discuss - particularly when considering how to survive.
We talk about all the equal opportunities Jason affords people of all physical abilities; Jason's missed career as an engineer; and the inherent give-and-take of safety in deliberately luring a bear to become your protector.
All of which leads to one big question:
How would you survive?
Whatever happens, one things for sure... Despite what you may have heard, bears ARE dangerous.
Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.
This week, Chris and Joe are talking about Titanic (1997), and how they would survive if they found themselves aboard the doomed voyage.
Titanic is a part love-story, part disaster movie, part horror, part survival movie, part historical drama and part documentary. An emotional roller coaster which secured its place as the biggest blockbuster in history (...until Avatar came and blue it all up).
We talk about the complete lack of sensible decisions made by Rose; how smelling ice could be beneficial; the relative merits of steering INTO the iceberg; and how to make use of a genetic telepathic link to the ship itself.
All of which leads to the ultimate question:
How would you survive?
As ever, send your suggestions to howtosurviveshow@gmail.com, visit howtosurviveshow.com, and promise us you'll never let go!
Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.
This week, Chris and Joe are talking about Everest (2015). The high-action retelling of the '1996 Mount Everest Disaster'.
In a break from usual form, this episode was deemed inappropriate for analysis of 'how to survive'. The film tells the story of real people who were qualified professionals in climbing. It would be an insult to their expertise - and their memories if we (non-climbing experts) pointed out where they went wrong.
Instead, we discuss the merits of one of the year's most exciting and enthralling action movies; the accuracy of the portrayals of each character, and how this film compares with other disaster-survival movies of its kind.
For once, avoiding the question:
How would you surivive?
As ever, send your talking points to howtosurviveshow@gmail.com - and visit www.howtosurviveshow.com for more.
Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.
This week, Chris and Joe are talking about The Hills Have Eyes (1977), and how they would survive if they found themselves lost in the desert, hunted by a family of mutant cannibals!
In memorial of master of modern horror, Wes Craven, we're digging into one of his most famous movies - and tearing it to shreds.
The Hills Have Eyes is shocker-horror at its finest (and simultaneously at its worst). Featuring gender politics that would make Michael Bay blush; an exploitative use of a genetic disorder in casting; and a plot which inexplicably treads a fine line between shocking and boring.
We talk about the relative merits of being a man in this movie's universe; the living contradiction of a life-long police officer who appears to have no experience in confrontation; and the inherent dangers of sprinting into blinding darkness in unknown terrain...
All of which leads to the ultimate question:
How would you survive?
As ever, send your suggestions to howtosurviveshow@gmail.com, and remember - we recommend that until we can get to you, you stand on your heads... with your thumbs up!
Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.
This week, Chris and Joe are talking about A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984), and how they would survive if they found their dreams invaded by the demonic child murderer, Freddy Krueger!
In memorial of master of modern horror, Wes Craven, we're digging into the movie which is undoubtedly his most lasting legacy - and tearing it to shreds.
A Nightmare on Elm Street is one of the classics of modern horror. Bringing us one of the most iconic pop cultural figures of the 80's, kickstarting Johnny Depp's career, and taking special-effects-based horror to a new level.
We talk about the dismal acting dished out by Johnny Depp; the complete lack of responsibility and suitability shown by everyone from police and morticians, to parents and 'dream doctors'; and just what parts of the film turned out to be a dream anyway...
All of which leads to the ultimate question:
How would you survive?
As ever, send your suggestions to howtosurviveshow@gmail.com, and remember - it's just a dream.
Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.
This week, Chris and Joe are talking about The Loved Ones (2009), and how they would survive if they were strapped to a chair and tortured with power tools!
Don't be mistaken - The Loved Ones isn't full on torture-porn (though it does stray into that territory). This is a story of shocks, survival, and unsettling surprises. If you haven't seen the film, watch it now. It's a hysterical thriller which doesn't let up.
We talk about Lola, one of the hidden gems of modern horror; myriad escape opportunities completely missed; a policeman more Inspector Clouseau than Jason Bourne; and one of the most difficult situations one might ever need to escape from.
All of which leads to the ultimate question:
How would you survive?
As ever, send your suggestions to howtosurviveshow@gmail.com - and remember - you are pretty enough.
Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.
This week, Chris and Joe are taking on an obsessive fan - it's 1990's classic horror, Misery!
Misery is adapted from a Stephen King novel of the same name, and tells the story of Paul Sheldon (James Caan), a writer who is kidnapped by his number one fan - Annie Wilkes (Kathy Bates in an Oscar winning performance). As this thriller progresses, the question turns from survival to escape, making it a natural choice for us to discuss.
We talk about one of the finest vocabularies of any movie character in history; the lack of initiative shown by a small-town sheriff with ideas above his station; and the fine line between being a likable person and inviting your own gruesome murder.
All of which leads to the ultimate question:
How would you survive?
As ever, send your suggestions to howtosurviveshow@gmail.com, and remember - the penguin faces due South.
Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.
This week, Chris and Joe are talking about Jurassic World (2015), and how they would survive if they came up against the Indominus Rex!
Jurassic World is part sequel, part re-boot, part trip down memory lane. A fun thrill-ride which ticks all the boxes of a summer blockbuster - including absolutely ludicrous decisions made by characters in their attempts to survive.
We talk about the complete lack of corporate resposibilty shown by every member of a multi-billion dollar corporation; the difficulty of keeping the world's most deadly land animal a secret during its rampage; and the appropriate time for civillian helicopter pilots to involve themselves in military operations.
All of which leads to the ultimate question:
How would you survive?
As ever, send your suggestions to howtosurviveshow@gmail.com, and remember - this is all Chris Pratt's fault.
Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.
This week, Chris and Joe review Alien (1979), and discuss how they would survive if they were passengers on-board The USCSS Nostromo.
Alien is the ultimate story of survival in a tight space. The movie is widely held in the top horror movies of all-time, features some of the most iconic scenes in modern cinema, and spawned a multi-million dollar franchise.
We talk about the complete lack of initiative shown by a galactic starship captain; the benefits of a solid medical checklist procedure; and the age old question: should you save the cat?
All of which leads to the most important question of all:
How would you survive?
So grab a magazine, roll it up, and prepare for the best podcast you'll hear all week.
As always, be sure to send your thoughts and suggestions to howtosurviveshow@gmail.com
Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.
In this episode of How to Survive, Chris and Joe review the recent horror movie It Follows, and discuss how they would survive the events of the film.
We've all had a romantic encounter which we went on to regret - but what if your romantic encounter left you cursed to be stalked by a demonic, murderous wraith for the rest of your life?
That's the premise of It Follows, and naturally it leads to some very interesting discusssion.
You'll hear all the ups and downs of this contemporary classic, including a tense discussion of the subversion of horror cliches, the dangers of water, and the logistics of surveying Detroit's sex workers.
Not forgetting the all important question:
How would you survive?
Remember to send your thoughts across to HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com and be sure to subscribe.
Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.
In the first episode of How to Survive, Chris and Joe review the original Friday the 13th, then discuss how they would survive the events at Camp Crystal Lake.
Despite having a questionable script, two-dimensional characters, and a plot which is both predictable and incoherent, Friday the 13th remains the quintessential horror movie - and the original slasher film.
We talk about all the highs and lows of this classic movie, including the incredible feats of strength employed by an old lady; a slew of tragically preventable bad decisions; a criminal amount of time dedicated to vehicle manouveres, and the most important question of all:
How would you survive?
Whatever happens, one things for sure... We'll be laughing about this tomorrow, I promise.
Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.