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How to Survive

'How to Survive' is a film review podcast with a twist. The discussion centres around one key question: 'How would you survive in this movie?' Each episode centres around one classic movie. Often, they are horror movies, but there are also lots of thrillers, action movies, adventure movies and the occasional romantic drama for good measure. If you've ever rolled your eyes when the victim goes outside alone; tutted when the killer returns from the dead; or shouted 'DON'T GO IN THERE!', this is the podcast for you. If you have ideas on How to Survive, or recommendations for films we should consider, send them over to: HowToSurviveShow@Gmail.com
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Now displaying: 2016
Dec 28, 2016

It's episode 72... and the cash cow is ready for milking...

Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016) tells the story of Jyn Erso, a young woman who is caught up in the rebel's fight against the empire directly before the events of Star Wars (1977). Jyn and her new friend Casian head a mission to steal the plans for the Death Star to give the rebels a chance to blow it up.

We talk about the benefits of wireless communication; the advantages of having an entire droid army at your disposal; and the risks of keeping your unstoppable secret weapon hidden away until the fight is practically over.

All of which leads to one big question: 

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... the power we're dealing with here is immeasurable.

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Dec 26, 2016

It's the second of our 2016 Christmas Special!

Die Hard (1989) tells the story of John McClain, an NYPD cop who will stop at nothing to save a group of hostages from Hans Gruber, a terrorist mastermind who is staging a complex robbery at McClain's wife's Christmas Party!

We talk about the greatest movie villain of all time; the importance of professionalism from emergency services staff; and the dangers of shouting your thoughts when you're trying to remain inconspicuous. 

All of which leads to one big question: 

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... Hans, babe, put away the gun, this is radio, not television.Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Another movie solved by the greatest film podcast in the world!

Dec 23, 2016

It's the first of our 2016 Christmas Specials!

Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992) tells the story of Kevin McCallister, a young boy who becomes separated from his family at the airport, and ends up fending for himself in New York City. To make things even more complicated, Kevin is facing off against his past foes, The Wet Bandits (who have now rebranded...).

We talk about the importance of learning from your mistakes; the risks of a lax approach to workplace safety, and a professional weighs in on just how much The McCallister Family should be trusted to raise children.

All of which leads to one big question: 

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure...Get Outta here you nosey little pervert or I'm gonna slap you silly!!!

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Dec 21, 2016

It's episode 71... and it's all hands on deck...

Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (1989) tells the story of a group of hapless teenagers who get killed by Jason Vorhees. Some of them get killed on a boat. 5 minutes of the movie takes place in Manhattan where some others are killed and then Jason gets killed (but he's probably not dead). There we saved you having to watch it.

We talk about the risks of holding unlicensed boxing matches whilst at sea, with no medical personnel anywhere around; the importance of using doors properly; and the responsibilities of the urban planning committee to ensure the waste disposal is properly carried out throughout the city of New York.

All of which leads to one big question: 

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure...You don't wanna end up drowning like that Voorhees boy, do you? He never learned how to swim, either. And he's still at the bottom of this lake.

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Dec 14, 2016

It's episode 70... and everybody's favourite metamorphosing pets...

Gremlins (1984) tells the story of Billy, a young man whose father buys him a strange mystical pet for Christmas. Before long, Billy accidentally causes the pet to multiply, generating dozens of gremlins who terrorise his town - and its up to Billy to stop them.

We talk about the importance of clear communication when the stakes are high; the simple mechanics of kicking small animals; and just how an inventor can be so badly wasted in a movie.

All of which leads to one big question: 

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... I warned you. With podcast comes great responsibility. But you didn't listen.

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Dec 7, 2016

It's episode 69... and there's magic in the air...

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016) tells the story of Newt Scamander, a collector and protector of magical animals. Newt travels to New York city, where he immediately loses his magical animals and ends up embroiled in all kinds of mayhem while he hunts them down. (Also it's set in the Harry Potter universe)

We talk about the lax approach to HR management exhibited by the American magical society (I can't remember their name and I'm damned if I'm going to look it up); the importance of keeping a cool head in order to prevent blowing your cover; and just how easily a senator's death can be swept under the rug.

All of which leads to one big question: 

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... I ain't got the brains to make this up.

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Nov 30, 2016

It's episode 68... and the world's greatest movie dad is taking on some aliens!

War of the Worlds (2005) tells the story of Ray, a deadbeat father who is forced to step up and be there for his children when everything they ever knew or loved is destroyed by aliens. 

We talk about the worst father in movie history; the benefits of planning an invasion properly; and just how much someone can overact when sitting on a chair...

All of which leads to one big question: 

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... this is not a war any more than there's a war between men and maggots... This is an extermination.

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Nov 23, 2016

It's episode 67... and we've arrived...

Arrival (2016) tells the story of a doctor of linguistics as she is enlisted by the US Army to help talk to some newly arrived aliens. Why are the aliens here? We can say literally nothing about it without spoiling it...

We talk about the difficulties of teaching a non-human species to speak a human language; the relative futility of keeping an internationally televised invasion a secret; and just how useless a theoretical physicist is when you need to action!

All of which leads to one big question: 

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... If you could see your whole life laid out in front of you, would you change things?

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Nov 16, 2016

It's episode 66... Konichiwa!

Battle Royale (2000) tells the story of a class of Japanese school children (primarily through two classmates: Nanahara and Noriko). The class is kidnapped and taken to a remote island where they are then forced to fight to the death by their teacher, Kitano. Hilarity ensues.

We talk about the merits of taking advantage of people's vulnerable emotional state; the benefits of a tower-defence approach to beginning the game; and a tense debate about whether it's better to opt out, or play with the effort you can muster.

All of which leads to one big question: 

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure...today's lesson is, you kill each other off till there's only one left. Nothing's against the rules.

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Nov 9, 2016

It's episode 65... and may the odds ever be in your favour...

The Hunger Games (2012) tells the story of Katniss Everdeen, a young woman who is forced to take part in a death match against other youngsters, but you can bet she'll make some friends along the way...

We talk about some of the stupidest names in movie history; the best way to produce a death match for television; and our most fierce debate yet: should players just kill everyone around them?

All of which leads to one big question: 

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... He can throw a hundred pound sack of flour right over his head. I've seen it.

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Nov 2, 2016

It's episode 64... and the best movie we've ever seen which features a taxi driver being taken hostage by a hitman...

Collateral (2004) tells the story of Max, an LA taxi driver who picks up the wrong fare. The wrong fare is Vincent, a hitman who forces Max to drive him around the city as he kills everyone on his list. 

We talk about the importance of not leaving your work to the last minute; the logistics of hiring a car when anonymity is essential; and the benefits of just walking away...

All of which leads to one big question: 

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... Bullets and the fall killed him.

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Oct 31, 2016

It's Halloween, and a special treat for our favourite Halloweenies!

This is the How to Survive: Trick or Treat Extravaganza 2016.

This is the 'Trickt' episode, and we're talking about one of the scariest horror movies of recent years.

Check back later today for the 'Trick' episode.

Oct 31, 2016

 

It's Halloween, and a special treat for our favourite Halloweenies!

This is the How to Survive: Trick or Treat Extravaganza 2016.

This is the 'Treat' episode, and we're talking about one of the best modern horror movies of the past five years.

Check back later today for the 'Trick' episode.

Oct 26, 2016

It's episode 63... and the greatest hitman horror ever...

Kill List (2011) tells the story of Jay, a hitman who has been out of work for some time. Convinced to return to the job by his wife and his business partner, Jay's life is soon turned upside-down when he becomes embroiled in the world of the occult.

We talk about the benefits of gun modification; the benefits of acting like a Hackney crack addict; and how to become a hero of the working class.

All of which leads to one big question: 

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... No more guitar, mate. Not in restaurants. There is a time and a place. And your time and place is in a very isolated location, where no-one is likely to be for about a hundred years. Ok?

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Oct 19, 2016

It's episode 62... and a lesson in the world of love...

The Lobster (2015) tells the story of David, who lives in a society where anyone incapable of finding love will be turned into an animal after 45 days alone. David finds himself at an intensive relationship-building course at a hotel, with his deadline fast approaching.

We talk about the animals best equipped to survive; the benefits of being a cold-blooded killer; and how to set up the most generic dating profile in the world.

All of which leads to one big question: 

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... If you encounter any problems you cannot resolve yourselves, you will be assigned children, that usually helps.

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Oct 12, 2016

It's episode 61... and he's still out there... waiting...

Friday the 13th: Part VII The New Blood tells the story of Tina, a young woman with psychic powers (no, really) who has returned to Camp Crystal Lake to recover from the memories of killing her father there using her psychic powers (no, really) many years ago. The rest of the film is Jason Vorhees killing teenagers.

We talk about just how far the limits of psychic powers can be tested; the greatest Friday the 13th based quiz you'll hear this week; and we catch up on one of the most successful movie franchises of all time.

All of which leads to one big question: 

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... KING TUT... RISES FROM THE TOMB!

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Oct 5, 2016

It's episode 60, and are you seeing what I'm seeing?

Don't Breathe (2016) tells the story of Rocky, a young girl who attempts to rob a blind man's house in the dead of night along with her friends. They soon learn that being blind doesn't make this particular man any less mean, and the tables are quickly turned...

We take survival advice from an old video game; dust off some old survival favourites; and discuss the limitations of living in an area which lacks social mobility...

All of which leads to one big question: 

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... just because you're blind, doesn't make you a saint...

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Sep 28, 2016

It's episode 59... and a movie to remind you why The Blair Witch Project was so good...

Blair Witch (2016) tells the story of James: a young man whose sister went missing during the events of The Blair Witch Project (1999). Twenty years later, James heads into the woods to find her, taking his hapless friends and a bunch of high tech video equipment with him - but predictably, things don't pan out as he'd hoped.

We discuss one of the simplest ways to survive against one of the deadliest enemies; how to cope when a movie becomes too terrifying; and we uncover perhaps the greatest story of intrigue in the history of film marketing.

All of which leads to one big question: 

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... this is "one of the scariest podcasts ever made".

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Sep 21, 2016

It's episode 58... and the deepest, bluest episode yet.

Deep Blue Sea (1999) tells the story of an off-shore research facility which becomes overrun by super-smart, super-strong, super sharks - and it's up to Dr. McCallister and her team to try to fend them off.

We discuss the risks of using rescue equipment to celebrate birthdays, the benefits of even the most rudimentary fail-safes in coast guard machinery; and the importance of a measured approach when using your own blood as bait.

All of which leads to one big question: 

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure...Grab hold of a hot pan, second can seem like an hour. Put your hands on a hot woman, an hour can seem like a second.

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Sep 14, 2016

It's episode 57... and our gnarliest episode yet! 

The Shallows (2016) tells the story of Nancy, a surfer who travels alone to a secluded beach in Mexico and is attacked by a shark. She then spends the rest of the film trying to survive against the shark. 

We compare notes from around the web on shark survival tactics; confuse two factory-made British Girl Groups; and establish once-and-for-all the key difference between sharks and cats.

All of which leads to one big question: 

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... It's okay... No Sharks Come Here.

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Sep 7, 2016

It's episode 56... and a lesson in gardening...

The Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1976) tells the story of a Matthew Bennell and Elizabeth Driscoll, two officers at the Department of Health. The pair become embroiled in a fight for their lives when the population of the earth begin to be replaced by alien invaders.

We discuss the relative merits of living in an emotionless society; the benefits of a quick escape from danger; and the importance of avoiding comedic timing when delivering a joke which needs to conceal your emotions and reveal others' emotions.

All of which leads to one big question: 

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... The rest of the world is trying to change people for fit the world. I'm trying to change the world to fit people.

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Aug 31, 2016

It's episode 55... and we're having an identity crisis...

The Thing (1982) tells the story of a group of researchers in the antarctic who are infiltrated by an alien which can take on the form of any living thing it comes into contact with (but not before killing them first).

We discuss the difficulties of discerning between Scandinavian nationalities; the intricacies of the world's most advanced data analysis software; and just why a scientific research team has the weapons capabilities of a small country...

All of which leads to one big question: 

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... I'd rather not spend the rest of this winter TIED TO THE F*CKING COUCH!

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Aug 24, 2016

It's episode 54... and we're trying to cover the fact that we're actually cold, dead robots with a look at one of the coldest robots in modern cinema...

Ex Machina (2015) tells the story of Caleb; a young man who travels to visit the home of an elusive genius in order to carry out a turing test on the world's first fully intelligent robot - but all is not what it seems... and before long Caleb is plunged into a puzzle that causes him to question his ethics, his sanity and even his humanity...

We stress the importance of moderate alcohol consumption; the difficulties of data security in the digital age; and above all, the risks of falling head over heels in love with machinery.

All of which leads to one big question: 

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... Isn't it strange, to create something that hates you?

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Aug 17, 2016

It's episode 53...which means How to Survive has been going on every week for a whole year, and we will not stop, ever, until you are dead.

This week we confront one of the most emotionless, mechanical, soulless creatures in Hollywood history - James Cameron! But wait, it's back when he was good! That's right, it's The Terminator (1984), with Arnold Schwarzenegger making his How to Survive bow as the titular technological terror.

We debate the questionable sleeping habits of technophobic time-travellers, wonder why the T-101's deadeye aim abandons him at the crucial moment, and ask ourselves just how much celebratory alcohol can two men drink before the podcast becomes completely nonsensical?

All of which leads to one big question: 

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure...there's a storm coming.

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Aug 10, 2016

It's episode 52...but have no fear little ones, we are here to protect thee!

This week we're diving into British horror classic The Omen (1976) to tackle cinema's most enduring troublesome tyke. US ambassador Robert Thorn is happily married with their child Damien in tow, but is the boy in question all he appears? Could he, or possibly an international satanic conspiracy dedicated to him, be responsible for the sudden and grisly deaths of Robert's friends and associates?

We debate nature vs nurture theories of child rearing, query whether political correctness really has gone mad and confront maybe the greatest terror we've ever faced - elevators in 1970s Italian hospitals.

All of which leads to one big question: 

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure...it's all for you Damien!

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

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