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How to Survive

'How to Survive' is a film review podcast with a twist. The discussion centres around one key question: 'How would you survive in this movie?' Each episode centres around one classic movie. Often, they are horror movies, but there are also lots of thrillers, action movies, adventure movies and the occasional romantic drama for good measure. If you've ever rolled your eyes when the victim goes outside alone; tutted when the killer returns from the dead; or shouted 'DON'T GO IN THERE!', this is the podcast for you. If you have ideas on How to Survive, or recommendations for films we should consider, send them over to: HowToSurviveShow@Gmail.com
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Now displaying: Page 6
Feb 27, 2019

It's episode 181, and we are the things that were and shall be again!

Evil Dead II (1987) is  Sam Raimi's cult classic follow-up to cult classic The Evil Dead (1981), and like all good sequels it doubles down on the splatter, chainsaws, and eyebrow-raising violence, once again starring the best eyebrow-raiser in the business: Bruce Campbell!

We talk about maintaining basic sanitation in a remote, demon-plagued cabin; whether Raimi's style leaves us too busy laughing to ever be scared; and most importantly of all we discuss which power tools would make for the best prosthetic limbs in day-to-day life.

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: He has fallen from the sky to save us from the deadites, he's a hero!

Next week, it's the start of Cyber-Modification-Body-Horror season with action classic Robocop! (1987).

Get in touch!
HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

Feb 20, 2019

It's episode 180, and good night darling. Say your prayers. Oh, by the way, your dad and I just torched some maniac last night.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987) tells the story of Kristen, a young girl who is haunted by a marauding maniac in her dreams. That maniac is Freddy Krueger - and when she is placed in a psychiatric home for teenagers, she realises all of the other patients are also haunted by Freddy. Luckily, the main one from the original movie is now a dream doctor and she can help them out. No, really.

We talk about sartorial responsibility at funerals; the ultimate guide to lucid dreaming whenever you want to; and we try to get to grips on a franchise which has already spun wildly out of control. 

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: There will be no repeat occurrences of last night's events. From now on your doors will be locked during sleeping hours. We'll start a policy of evening sedation for everybody.

Next week, more franchise fun with Evil Dead 2 (1987).

Get in touch!
HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

Feb 13, 2019

It's episode 179, and our mission is simple. We go in, and we take him out!

The Raid (2011) aka The Raid: Redemption follows Rama, a member of a Jakarta Special Forces squad who embark on an ill-fated assault on a drug lord's compound. Twists and turns (of limbs) ensue, as well as punches, kicks, stabbings, shootings, bottlings, bannisterings, bulbings and defenestrations in one of the bloodiest and bloody-brilliant-est films we've ever covered.

We talk about martial arts, musicals and Mad Dogs, why you should never antagonise a man with a gun who has a gun to your head (that's a fairly obvious one), and Joe reveals why, in the life and death game of Tekken, there's only one motto to remember: invite them to dinner, and feed them.

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: They'll come here. They'll tear this place to the ground.

Next week, we're back on our franchise bullshit with A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors (1987)

Get in touch!
HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

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Feb 6, 2019

It's episode 178, and there is nothing we can hold onto in this world. Only by letting go can we truly possess what is real.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000) tells the story of Li Mu Bai, a fearsome warrior with 'last day on the job' syndrome, and Yu Shu Lien, another fearsome warrior who is in love with him. Before they can retire and live out their lives together, they must deal with Jen Yu, another fearsome warrior who is the daughter of a local official and Jade Fox, another fearsome warrior who killed Li Mu Bai's master (another fearsome warrior) and is now hiding as Jen's servant.

We talk about one of the most compelling visions for an action movie ever; a potted history of wuxia; and the benefits of a chainmail snood.

All of which leads to one important question:

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: No growth without assistance. No action without reaction. No desire without restraint. Now give yourself up and find yourself again.

Next week, we're fighting our way through The Raid (2011).

Get in touch!
HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

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Feb 1, 2019

As a special bonus: a movie which wasn't worth a full episode.

Did Glass (2018) live up to the hype?

We talk about disappointments; missed opportunities; and a masterclass in turning interesting ideas into unadulterated boredom.

All of which leads to one question:

How would you survive?

Get in touch with your thoughts: Howtosurviveshow@gmail.com

And we'll see you on Wednesday for Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000).

Jan 30, 2019

It's episode 177, and all I know is that the boy was my charge. And if he was not the word of God. Then God never spoke.

The Road (2009) paints a harrowing picture of a ruined world following some kind of unknown cataclysm. A man and his boy journey South, hoping in vain to find warmth, food and shelter, but must brave the elements, fellow survivors and even cannibals along the way.

We talk about the most distressing vision of the future we've covered so far on the podcast with cannibals, calderas, and everything in-between, and strap in for the most miserable quiz around.

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: You look at him again, I'll shoot you in the head.

Next week, we flying kick our way into martial arts movies with Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000).

Get in touch!
HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

Jan 23, 2019

It's episode 176, and that's something you can't unsee.

Bird Box (2019) paints a post-apocalyptic world in which the mere sight of a mysterious supernatural entity causes people to die by suicide. Can Malorie, alongside her creatively named children 'Boy' and 'Girl', survive a harrowing 48 hour trip downriver in a raft, remaining blindfolded the entire time?

Blindfolds at the ready as we discuss the vogue of sensory deprivation horror, the vagueries of Bird Box's world, the one time of day it makes sense to be blindfolded and the most important item to remember when embarking on a treacherous, water-based trip. Can you guess what it is? Joe couldn't.

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: Under no circumstances are you allowed to take off your blindfold.

Next week, we're going on another miserable journey down The Road (2009).

Get in touch!
HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

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Jan 16, 2019

It's episode 175, and you're just a freak in a cheap suit.

The Dark Knight (2008) tells the story of Bruce Wayne, aka Batman, aka The Dark Knight, aka The Caped Crusader as he teams up with Gotham's new District Attorney, Harvey Dent, to take on The Joker. Will they stop him before his diabolical plan is realised?

We talk about human resourcing in major city police departments; the dangers of over-reliance on technology; and the strangest dinner party exchange in any movie ever (which wasn't in this one).

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

Next week, keep an eye out for Bird Box (2018).

Get in touch!
HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

Jan 9, 2019

It's episode 174, and am I not supposed to have what I want, what I need? What am I supposed to do?.

Spider-Man 2 (2004) tells the story of Peter Parker as he adjusts to life as a young adult. Pete is stretched thin, burning the candle at both ends to keep up with the demands of studying, delivering pizzas, and being Spider-Man. Something has to give - and something needs to be done about the dreaded Dr. Octopus - New York's newest supervillain.

We talk about the best setting for nuclear experimentation; the risks of throwing cars first and asking questions later; and we ask: who would make a better life partner - a rich, handsome astronaut who is the son of a newspaper mogul, or an unemployed, broke student who appears to have no interest in you?

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: Now you know the truth about Peter, Avenge me... AVENGE ME!

Let's put a smile on that face... next week it's The Dark Knight (2008).

Get in touch!
HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

Dec 26, 2018

Christmas may be over, but festive fever is still high at the How to Survive podcast. All together now: Download podcast, sesame.

We're back once again, tackling our favourite movie series ever - one which is fast becoming a true horror franchise. It's Home Alone 4: Taking Back the House (2002).

We talk about all the very slight problems of the film: Casting, costuming, scripting, cinematography, editing, pacing and much much more. And of course, the many positives of the movie too (you'll just have to listen to the show to hear about those).

After all that, for one final time this year, we ask: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: The trouble with sports cars, there's no room for anybody else maybe one other person max. But if you want to take a real road trip luggage and all you don’t even have room for a friend I mean there cool and fast and all but who wants to be in a nice car when you're alone all.

See you next week for Spider-Man 2 (2004). 

Get in touch!
HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

Dec 24, 2018

It's the most wonderful time of the year, and that can only mean one thing - a bonus episode of How to Survive about a woefully inappropriate family-friendly Christmas film!

This year we're donning our red and white hats and letting Rudolph guide our way through The Santa Clause, the 1994 classic family Christmas romp with an immensely sinister undertone of magical indentured servitude which robs hapless individuals of their lives in exchange for years of thankless service followed by total dematerialisation.

There'll be podcasts for hosting and films to be roasting from Christmasses long, long ago and, of course, an exhaustive discussion of the ways in which The Santa Clause actually has an awful lot in common with Schindler's List.

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night! And when I wake up, I'm gettin' a CAT scan!

Look out for a special podcast on Boxing Day in which we watch the worst film ever made so you don't have to: Home Alone 4: Taking Back The House.

Get in touch!
HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

Dec 19, 2018

It's episode 173, and you could be brilliant, but you're a coward.

Black Swan tells the story of amitious but anxious prima ballerina Nina, who is preparing for the dual starring roles in a revolutionary production of Swan Lake. But as the stress of her impending performance takes its toll, Nina's psychological demons come to the fore.

We talk about the subjective vs. the objective, unpack the best depictions of mental health crises in cinema, cringe over the most overbearing of overbearing mothers, and Joe dishes out some well-researched advice to anyone looking to loosen up a bit.

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: This role's destroying you.

Next week, ITTT'SSS CHRRRRIISSSSTTTTMAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSS

Get in touch!
HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

Dec 12, 2018

It's episode 172b, and we need guilt, Doctor. And shame. But not yours.

As with the original, Suspiria (2018) tells the story of Susie Bannion, a young woman who joins a German dance school. Are the teachers of the school witches? Yes. Will the movie become increasingly and unrelentingly bizarre? You betcha.

We talk about Tilda Swinton in the roles of a lifetime; the importance of understanding cause and effect; and the importance of timing your accusations of witchcraft.

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: This isn't vanity! This is art!

Next week, dance season draws to a close with Darren Aronofsky's 2010 classic Black Swan. 

Get in touch!
HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

Dec 12, 2018

It's episode 172a, and we must get rid of that bitch of an American girl. Vanish! She must vanish! Make her disappear! Understand? Vanish, she must vanish!

Suspiria (1977) is the story of Suzy Bannion, a new student at the prestigious Tanz Dance Academy, Munich who begins to suspect that something is amiss following the brutal murders of several students, all of whom suspected the teachers were witches. But are they really witches? Yes. They are witches.

We talk about Giallo, Argento, looking before you leap and weigh up the pros and cons of appropriate footwear for sneaking about when you're in a universe that is all about style.

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: He's felt very handsome ever since he got those false teeth.

Look out for How to Survive: Suspiria (2018), out later today!

Get in touch!
HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

Dec 5, 2018

It's episode 171 and this is for all you new people: I have only one rule. Everybody fights, no one quits. If you don't do your job, I'll kill you myself! Welcome to the Roughnecks!

Starship Troopers (1997) is the story of Johnny Rico and his friends, who graduate from high school and immediately join earth's galactic military in order to wage war on a foreign planet inhabited by gigantic insects.

We talk about securing the right tools for the job; remind ourselves of the basics of gun safety; and reflect on the dangers of a battlefield romance.

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: I need a corporal. You're it, until you're dead or I find someone better.

Next week, a delightful double with Suspiria (1977) and Suspiria (2018).

Get in touch!
HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

Nov 27, 2018

It's episode 170 and my dad thinks I'm on drugs. My mom thinks I'm crazy. And, you know, at this point, I don't know if I don't disagree with her.

A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985) tells the story of Jesse, a young man who moves into the home previously occupied by the victim of A Nightmare on Elm Street. He is haunted by Freddy Krueger in his dreams - and compelled to murder on his behalf. Will he be able to overcome Freddy's manipulation?

We talk about bad parenting, bad policing and (very) bad feng shui.

All of which leads to one important question: How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: If I start to act weird, or start dreaming weird, or try to walk out of here, you gotta stop me. I don't care if you have to hit me over the head, just don't let me leave. And... don't fall asleep.

Next week, it's listener's choice: Starship Troopers (1997).

Get in touch!
HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

Nov 21, 2018

It's episode 169 and the promise of the Divine is but an illusion. Nothing in this world is pure... except for the How to Survive podcast.

Apostle (2018) tells the story of Thomas. Called upon to rescue his sister from a religious cult on a Welsh island, Thomas gets more than he bargained for when the cult's rituals appear to hide a terrifying secret.

We talk about thorough investigative measures; terrible contraception advice; the importance of stealth in an assassination.

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: I fear our Lord no longer hears my podcast. Yet still, I pray for your download... for my savior. Please bring me home. Your beloved daughter...

Next week, our franchise run continues with Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy's Revenge (1985).

Get in touch!
HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

Nov 20, 2018

The Final Destination franchise is a staple for horror movie fans. Despite having no clear antagonist, the threat of an inescapable and horrifically violent demise kept audiences glued to their seats for over a decade.

The franchise is often requested by listeners, and Chris and Joe felt it was finally time to board the proverbial plane; pull out into the proverbial traffic; keep their hands and feet inside the proverbial vehicle; attend the proverbial Nascar event; and... get caught in the proverbial bridge collapse...? (That will have to do).

In this special bonus episode Chris and Joe talk through their experience of watching all 5 movies for the second How to Survive Marathon Video. Though they talk through all the burns, cuts, scrapes, crushes, explosions and eye-ball pops that you'll ever need to hear about.

All of which leads to one question...

Why haven't you watched it yet?

Watch the full video now: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7pN00FFtB40

Nov 14, 2018

It's episode 168 and what happened here, happened to me.

Hold the Dark (2018) tells the story of Russell - an expert in wolves. Russell is summoned to Alaska to investigate some wolves who have been taking children - and ends up in the middle of something nobody could have seen coming.

We talk about the risks of being instantly boiled to death; the importance of choosing your suppliers wisely, and equally the importance of questioning a brief.

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: Your daddy wanted wolf's oil - for you. Do you know that? He said you was "unnatural." That was his word. Unnatural.

Next week, Gareth Evans' 2018 laugh-fest Apostle, which is available on Netflix.

Get in touch!
HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

Nov 7, 2018

It's episode 167 and that was my favourite shirt!

Mandy (2018) tells the story of Red and Mandy - lovers who have moved into the wilderness to live in the comfort of each other's company. All that is thrown into disarray when a passing cult leader becomes infatuated with Mandy - and what happens next has to be seen to be believed...

We talk about bringing a gun to a chainsaw fight; spotting drug misuse in the people around you; and the benefits of making sure vengeful people can't enact their revenge.

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: You're just meat. Without a soul, without a brain, without anything. Animal. You, you have no spirit- everlasting! No, no radiant light! I possess elucidations you will never know!.

Next week, Jeremy Saulnier's 2018 Werewolf movie 'Hold the Dark', which is available on Netflix.

Get in touch!
HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

Oct 31, 2018

It's episode 166 and our favourite time of the year...

Halloween (2018) is the story of Laurie and Michael Myers, set 40 years after their first encounter in the movie of the same name in 1978. Laurie has spent the intervening decades stockpiling weapons and ruining her relationship with her daughter and granddaughter - but all of that is turned upside down when Michael Myers escapes from prison and returns to Hadonfied...

We talk about the most boring villain in movie history; the importance of screening for staff in your hospital; and the risks of laying down deep roots in a town which has nothing to offer you  

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: Happy Halloween, Michael. .

Next week, its headspinning art-house horror with Mandy (2018)  

Get in touch!
HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

Oct 24, 2018

It's episode 165 and it's probably a glitch...

Unfriended (2014) tells the story of a group of friends who are Skyping, instant messaging, texting, Facebooking, emailing and Instagramming each other one evening - when all of a sudden all of those messaging platforms appear to become haunted by the spirit of their dead schoolfriend.

Is it a glitch? A hacker? Or are they really being haunted over the internet from beyond the grave?

We talk about the difficulties of sympathising with the world's worst collection of people; the benefits and limitations of shooting an entire movie over Skype; and there's never been a better reason to turn off your computer and go outside.

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: listen sweetheart you're a f**king asshole and if you don't download right now, I'll come over there and knock the trash out of your ears.

Next week, it's the spookiest day of the year in Halloween (2018)

Get in touch!
HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

Oct 16, 2018

It's episode 164 and if you dislike workplace disputes, don't apply to work at Belko.

The Belko Experiment (2016) tells the story of Mike Milch, who works for international corporation 'Belko' in its Colombia office. One day, the doors and windows are sealed shut, and the employees are ordered to kill each other or be killed themselves. The Belko Experiment has begun...

We talk about passive resistance against in a Total War scenario; the importance of picking your fights wisely; and we enjoy a lively debate about the best piece of office equipment to use to kill your colleagues.

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: HR will have a field day with this one.

Next week, we'll be Skyping in for Unfriended (2014).

Get in touch!
HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

Oct 10, 2018

It's episode 163 and we're paell-ing on the gore in possibly the best found-footage film ever made!

REC (2007) follows news reporter Angela, and her cameraman Pablo, as they follow Barcelona firemen on a routine night of work. What could possibly go wrong? Oh, just hordes of the rabid undead and heinous religious abuse.

We talk Spanish history, the best splat sound in horror history and the benefits of a little bit of health & safety planning.

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure: If this is a pain in the ass, just cut, okay?

Next week it's The Belko Experiment (2017), which is available on Netflix!

Get in touch!
HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

Oct 3, 2018

It's episode 162... and maybe the best horror sequel ever...

This week, Creep 2 (2017), in which another videographer is drawn into the path of Josef. Josef now calls himself Aaron, and this time he's hoping to collaborate with Sara. Will Sara's desire to make an interesting YouTube video cause her to become ensnared in Aaron's trap - or will she turn the tables?

We talk about sensible knife-holstering; un-sensible view finder positioning; and why a professional approach to editing and Video SEO is always encouraged.

Whatever happens, one things for sure: Sara loves her juicy fruit. And Aaron loves to kill.

Next week, we say Hola to Rec (2007)

Get in touch! 
HowtoSurviveShow@gmail.com

Follow us on Twitter! @HowToSurvivePod

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