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How to Survive

'How to Survive' is a film review podcast with a twist. The discussion centres around one key question: 'How would you survive in this movie?' Each episode centres around one classic movie. Often, they are horror movies, but there are also lots of thrillers, action movies, adventure movies and the occasional romantic drama for good measure. If you've ever rolled your eyes when the victim goes outside alone; tutted when the killer returns from the dead; or shouted 'DON'T GO IN THERE!', this is the podcast for you. If you have ideas on How to Survive, or recommendations for films we should consider, send them over to: HowToSurviveShow@Gmail.com
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Now displaying: Page 4
Jul 13, 2016

It's episode 48... with a twist you'll never see coming (or see coming within 2 minutes...)

Goodnight Mommy (2014) (known as Ich Seh Ich Seh in some territories) tells the story of twin boys Elias and Lukas as they adjust to their mother's new personality after she undergoes facial surgery. In time, they start to wonder whether she really is their mother, or an imposter hiding under the bandages...

We talk about the dangers of keeping a cockroach farm in your house; the benefits of an over-the-top approach to fire safety; and we ask whether this could a rare example of a trailer being immensely more enjoyable that the actual film.

All of which leads to one big question: 

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... mum's the word!

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Jul 6, 2016

It's episode 47... all work and no play makes How to Survive a dull podcast.. 

The Shining (1980) tells the story of Jack Torrance and his family during their stint as caretakers of The Overlook Hotel. The hotel appears to be linked to some kind of supernatural force which combines clairvoyance, telepathy and general malevolence, eventually causing Jack's sanity to come into question.

We talk about the logistics of cross-country telepathy; how to stay motivated when working on a novel; and the importance of always accounting for Delbert Grady.

All of which leads to one big question: 

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... Podcasts are like people: some shine and some don't.

Another classic film solved by thev best movie podcast in the world.

Jun 29, 2016

It's episode 46... and there's no room for panic...

Panic Room (20012 tells the story of a mother and daughter who have just moved into a new home in the city. The home comes equipped with a panic room, which is lucky because during their first night in the house, some burglars break in and try to rob them. 

We talk about the dangers of drinking in the bath; aiming too high with your plans for a robbery; and the difficult value judgement in calling the emergency services or calling a sleeping man with no experience of siege situations.

All of which leads to one big question: 

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... It's disgusting how much I love you.

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Jun 22, 2016

It's episode 45... and a lesson in playing impromptu gigs at Nazi clubs!

Note: We recorded this episode a few weeks ago. Since then, we've heard the tragic news of Anton Yelchin's death. Yelchin played Pat in this week's movie. It was a quality performance, which made it very clear that he was a talented actor with a big future ahead of him.

There's not much that we can add without sounding exploitative or cliche, but naturally our hearts are with his loved ones, and although it's probably impossible to watch his movies without a certain filter of tragedy, we'd encourage you to seek one out in memoriam. 

Green Room (2016) tells the story of a punk band who play a gig at a neo-nazi club. After their set, they stumble across a recent murder which the nazis are keen to keep quiet... and it all goes down-hill from there.

We talk about the importance of safety around dogs; rational processes for mellowing aggressive individuals; and the relative dangers of telling the audience at your gig to 'eff off'.

All of which leads to one big question: 

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... tell somebody who gives a sh*t.

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Jun 15, 2016

It's episode 44! Have you heard the one about the woman who went deaf and got stalked by a murderer? Don't worry, neither has she!

Hush (2016) tells the story of Maddie, a deaf woman who lives alone in the woods. One evening, she is visited by a murderer who plans to use her hearing-impairment against her, and it's up to Maddie to work out how to survive.

We talk about the importance of good food preparation; the benefits of being a sovereign citizen; and the relative difficulties of managing a siege when you can't hear a break-in.

All of which leads to one big question: 

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... when you've had a particularly bad bout of bacterial meningitis, no-one can hear you scream!

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Jun 8, 2016

It's episode 43! The only thing worse than going blind is going blind while being stalked by a murderer...

Julia's Eyes (2010) tells the story of Julia, a woman with a degenerative eye disease. After her twin sister is murdered, Julia begins a hunt for the killer, but she's in a race against time as her vision is slowly growing weaker...

We talk about appropriate footwear for recovering from eye surgery; some top tips for pretending your eyes don't work; and a gripping appraisal of bathroom lighting safety.

All of which leads to one big question: 

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... When I look into your eyes, I see the universe!

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Jun 1, 2016

It's episode 42! There's a new toy that everybody's keen to possess... (see what I did there?)

Child's Play (1988) tells the story of Charles Lee Ray. A serial killer who, with his final breaths, uses voodoo magic to possess a child's doll. Thereafter, he goes on a murderous rampage, with his 'owner' Andy dragging along behind him.

We talk about the importance of gun safety in a highly built up area; the ecological benefits of double glazing; and just how difficult it must be to overpower a doll...

All of which leads to one big question: 

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... You're an abomination. An outrage against nature. You've perverted everything we've taught you and used it for evil, and you have to be stopped!

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

May 25, 2016

It's episode 41!

Fortunately, we're not heading back to Crystal Lake! And Jason Vorhees isn't killing teenagers! Unfortunately, someone else is...

Friday the 13th: A New Beginning (1985) tells the story of Tommy Jarvis. Now grown up, Tommy is haunted by the ghostly apparition of Jason Vorhees, and the trauma he suffered as a youngster. Whilst staying at a convalescent home for young people with mental health issues, Tommy is thrown back into chaos as the young people around him are picked off... one by one...

We talk about the age old tradition of singing with your partner whilst taking a poo; the single worst twist in all of movie history; and two characters who will be remembered for all of time as the most reprehensibly two-dimensional tropes ever created.

All of which leads to one big question: 

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... We can't wait for Jason to come back...

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

May 18, 2016

It's episode 40! Of all the mythical woodland creatures on earth, what could be friendlier than the North American Sasquatch?

Willow Creek (2013) tells the story of a young couple who head into the great American wilderness to make a documentary about a bigfoot sighting. The sighting took place 40 years earlier, but that doesn't stop our heroes from trying to get up close and personal with the elusive 'Bigfoot'.

We talk about the essential practice of taking 'the essentials' on a hiking trip; the best time to propose marriage to someone; and a lively appraisal of bigfoot movies of the past.

All of which leads to one big question: 

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... why don't you get yourself a slice of pie at the f*ck off café?

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

May 11, 2016

It's episode 39! Whatever you do... stay in the house!

Coherence (2013) tells the story of a group of friends having a dinner party. The evening starts well enough, but soon descends into terror as a comet passing near the earth appears to have an unusual effect on the evening's proceedings.

If you've seen Coherence, you might be thinking 'I wonder if they're going to do something clever to reflect the form of the film'.

But that would've required a level of planning, and writing, and performance that our brave podmasters quite simply have no energy for.

 

Instead, we talk about the safety concerns of insulting a spurned lover rather than consoling them; the benefits of a landline (partciularly for accident prone mobile phone owners); and the best way to avoid disposing of a body in a blackhole without falling in yourself.

All of which leads to one big question: 

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... if there are a million different realities, I have slept with your wife in every one of them

 Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

May 4, 2016

A Long Long Time Ago, on a Podcast Far Far Away...

It's episode 38!

Luke Skywalker has vanished.
In his absence, the sinister
FIRST ORDER has risen
from the ashes of the Empire
and will not rest until Skywalker, the last Jedi,
has been destroyed.

This week to celebrate May the 4th, we're suspending the usual How to Survive discussion in favour of discussing the latest Star Wars movie. With one notable exception, the characters all survive the movie, so we're just talking straight Star Wars.

We talk about The Skywalker Family past, present and future; The Star Wars franchise, past, present and future; and just how much money can you make from remaking the most famous movie of all time...  all of which leads to one big question:

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... The Force is strong with you!

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

May 3, 2016

This is re-uploaded because iTunes didn't like the last one...

It's episode 35! Start your engines. mirror, signal and manoeuvre - it's time for a high speed death chase on the Fury Road! Witness!

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) tells the story of Max... a man who is mad. Max finds himself assisting in a rescue mission. The ringleader of the operation is Imperator Furiosa who is trying to save five women from sexual slavery at the hands of the evil tyrant Immortan Joe. The only problem is, Joe wants the women back, and is willing to chase them to the ends of the earth.

We talk about whether it's easier to survive being sane or mad when surrounded by madness; the benefits of The Highway Code; and the relative merits of being a benevolent dictator instead of a tyrant.

All of which leads to one big question:

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... I am awaited in Valhalla!

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Apr 27, 2016

It's episode 37, and a returning favourite: Lt. Ellen Ripley and her travelling band of Alien killers.

Aliens (1986) sees Ripley wake up to find out that everyone she ever knew has died... but every cloud has a silver lining. Ripley is able to put her grief and PTSD to good use by travelling with a group of Space Marines to fight an entire planet of Xenomorphs for one of the most iconic action movies of all time.

We talk about one of the importance of crisis management when your career involves being in a lot of crises; the cost/benefit trade-off of sending a group of robots to a planet instead of humans; and how Tower Defence games can benefit survival against a marauding pack of Star Beasts.

All of which leads to one big question:

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... Stop your grinnin' and drop your linen!

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Apr 20, 2016

It's episode 36, and a movie which by definition is the most appropriate film we've ever discussed - The Survivalist!

The Survivalist (2016) tells the story of The Survivalist... a man who is a survivalist. The Survivalist has been surviving pretty well on his own out in the woods. He's got crops, shelter and decent defences - all until his world is turned upside down by the arrival of woman and her daughter. They group form an uneasy co-existence, which soon becomes a co-dependence, and his survival skills are pushed to their limits.

We talk about one of the most succinctly named villains in movie history; whether survival in a Darwinian sense is true survival; and we have an intense discussion about the benefits of different body effluvia as fertiliser.

All of which leads to one big question:

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... this is a movie about survival. 

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Apr 13, 2016

It's episode 35! Start your engines. mirror, signal and manoeuvre - it's time for a high speed death chase on the Fury Road! Witness!

Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) tells the story of Max... a man who is mad. Max finds himself assisting in a rescue mission. The ringleader of the operation is Imperator Furiosa who is trying to save five women from sexual slavery at the hands of the evil tyrant Immortan Joe. The only problem is, Joe wants the women back, and is willing to chase them to the ends of the earth.

We talk about whether it's easier to survive being sane or mad when surrounded by madness; the benefits of The Highway Code; and the relative merits of being a benevolent dictator instead of a tyrant.

All of which leads to one big question:

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... I am awaited in Valhalla!

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Apr 6, 2016

It's episode 34. It's the 1630s in New England. As long as you keep your heart to God, the only thing you have to fear is your entire family being killed by the demonic forces of Satan...

The Witch (2016) tells the story of William and his family. Ejected from a settlement of puritans for being too preachy, William's family set up a farm out in the wilderness. But all is not as it seems, and before long, demonic forces begin to test the family, threatening their faith, sanity and lives.

We talk about important steps you should take to avoid being accused of witchcraft; the importance of thoroughly chewing your food; and the difficulties of being so religious socialising becomes impossible.

All of which leads to one big question:

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... Corruption, thou art my father!

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Mar 30, 2016

If you liked Cloverfield, then you'll love 10 Cloverfield Lane - a movie that has nothing to do with the original Cloverfield except one word in the title!

10 Cloverfield Lane (2016) tells the story of Michelle, a woman who wakes up after a car accident to find she is being kept in an underground bunker by a mad man named Howard. It soon becomes evident that there has been an attack outside of the bunker, so Howard becomes both her prison warden and her salvation - but everything is not as it seems.

We talk about the difficulties of tricking a person who is predisposed to be paranoid about everything they encounter; the fine margins between maintaining uncomfortable safety and incurring the murderous wrath of a lunatic; and the most sudden and terrifying beard-shave in all of cinema history.

All of which leads to one big question:

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... It's the end of the world, and he's upset about a dead pig...

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Mar 23, 2016

It's 32 episodes, but we've finally found a slasher film which stands up to scrutiny - it's You're Next!

You're Next (2013) is the story of Erin, who is visiting her boyfriend's wealthy parents and the rest of the family at a secluded mansion in rural America - but trouble is afoot. Before long, they are besieged and murdered one at a time by a gang of men wearing animal masks - and it's up to Erin to forge a survival plan.

We talk about the pros and cons of being a weapons dealer; the logistics of fighting whilst wearing a mask which basically blinds you; and the relative benefits of continually expecting a crossbow bolt to fly in through the window.

All of which leads to one big question:

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... it pays to grow up in a survivalist compound.

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Mar 16, 2016

We're heading back to Camp Crystal Lake - I hope nothing bad happens... it's Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter!

Friday the 13th: The Final Chapter tells the story of a group of teenagers who visit 'Camp Crystal Lake' for a weekend of fun. Whilst there, they are attacked and murdered one-by-one by the marauding Jason Vorhees. - and if that sounds familiar, well done for paying attention.

We talk about how its possible for a film series to go backwards in the development of its characters; what may be the most pointless scene in all of movie history; and as is custom, we have a frank and lively discussion about what we have learned about Jason Vorhees.

All of which leads to one big question:

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... you are the superbowl of self-abuse!

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Mar 9, 2016

This week, a movie with a moral compass that would make Ghengis Khan run for the hills... it's Crank!

Crank (2006) tells the story of Chev Chelios, a hit man who grew a conscience at the wrong time. After failing to carry out a hit, Chev has been injected with a 'Chinese Poison'. The poison has shut down his adrenaline production and now his heart will stop if he fails to produce his own... so now he's on a runaway rampage of revenge and really unpleasant behaviour.

We talk about whether a film with no brain can be criticised for poor representations of everyone in it; the fine line between a healthy dose and an overdose; and the difficulties of finding an adrenaline burst in every day activities.

All of which leads to one big question:

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... It's the stimulation of your blood vessels. Your urinary sphincter's tight as a knot right now. You couldn't p*** to save your life.

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Mar 2, 2016

The wheels on the bus go round and round - and if the slow down the bomb on the bus will blow up! It's Speed!

Speed (1994) tells the story of Jack Travers - an LA Cop who messed with the wrong maniac. Now it's up to him to save a bus-load of people from certain doom. As soon as the bus goes above 50mph, the bomb is armed - but if it drops below 50, it's bye bye bus!

We talk about cinema's least consistent bad boy; how a man is able to source major technological equipment on a pension; and the difficulties of fighting to the death when you only have 9 fingers.

All of which leads to one big question:

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... You're not too bright, man, but ya got some big round hairy cajones.

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Feb 24, 2016

This week we're covering a horror movie lover's horror movie - it's Scream 2!

Scream 2 (1997) picks up a few months after the events of Scream. Sydney is now at university, but finds herself plagued anew by a marauder in a ghost face mask. As is custom, her friends are picked off one-by-one, leading to a final showdown with the killer - but who could it be?

We talk about the difficulties of relying on a film's mythology in a murder mystery; the pros and cons of gun ownership when you're being hunted by a masked murderer; and of course, how to use horror movie knowledge to your benefit.

All of which leads to one big question:

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... This is a perfect example of life imitating art imitating life.

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Feb 17, 2016

Wake up Sleepyheads! It's time for the remake of a Nightmare on Elm Street!

A Nightmare on Elm Street (2010) tells the story of A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984). Only this time, it's gorier, more unpleasant, less innovative, less exciting, it makes less sense, has uncomfortable themes, less appealing characters, worse special effects, a worse story, worse setting, worse characters and a worse ending.

So look forward to an unbiased and straight-laced review.

 

We talk about a disappointing change in the motives of the villain; a complete lack of appealing or interesting characters; and a frank discussion of the technical capabilities of open-source search engines.

All of which leads to one big question:

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... you're dreaming, but you don't know it. Like, even if you're awake. And then it says that after that, your brain will shut down, inducing a coma. Which is permanent sleep.

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Feb 10, 2016

This week we're getting wet and wild with The Poseidon Adventure!

The Poseidon Adventure (1972) tells the story of a capsized super-liner travelling between New York and Athens (Greece, not Georgia). It falls to Reverend Frank Scott to help a group of misfits survive by climbing to the bottom of the ship (which is now the top...)

We talk about the likelihood of suffering a fatal heart attack shortly after revealing a world-record breaking talent; the upsetting lack of mettle shown by a maritime commander; and the logistics of a gyroscopic ship. 

All of which leads to one big question:

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... In the water, I'm a very skinny lady.

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

Feb 3, 2016

This week we're keeping warm with The Towering Inferno!

The Towering Inferno (1974) is widely considered the greatest of the run of 70s disaster movies. It tells the story of the world's tallest skyscraper, and what would happen if a huge fire started on the 80th floor, with the creme de la creme of San Francisco 50 floors above!

We talk about improving the efficiency of a one-person chair lift; the difficulty of forgetting about 6 million gallons of water; and the ease at which a fire can be extinguished by running past it.

All of which leads to one big question:

How would you survive?

Whatever happens, one thing's for sure... It's a fire, mister, and all fires are bad!

Another classic film solved by the best movie podcast in the world.

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